Guest Post: Dragon*Con Day 4

Yeah. Yeah. I know. This is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay past late. It’s ancient, but I told everyone I would post it. Just as a head’s up, there is currently nothing for Monday. I have to bug Flash for it. Enjoy this installment regardless.

As with the other times, my comments interspersed throughout in red. 😀

Tales of Dragon*Con… Day 4

Dragon Con Tales! Dragon Con Takes! Let’s all have some DRAGON CON TALLLLLEEEEESSSSS!!!! Tale as in story, not tail as in getting a piece…though I could have closed my eyes and pointed to win the GUESS WHO’S GETTING LAID TONIGHT game. Honestly! LOL

Have you ever been so tired you put on two different shoes and never noticed?

Oh yeah. I was that tired. I was so tired that I almost rolled over and kissed Renee on the forehead to wake her up and remind her that she had a ride planned.

Thank God the dreads stopped me. Den and Andy probably would have been screaming in their skin… ’cause of a lack of video camera to see the confusion and mayhem that would have caused. I mean, kissing one of your best friends on the forehead in the morning just ain’t right.  And poor TACKA Liz… she probably would have laughed at my tired ass the whole day. Sigh.

(Yet again, my hair saves me. Wait… my hair has never saved me before. Suffice to say, this post was the first I heard of this. :P)

Dragon con. People made the joke before, but they are right. By day three, your ass is dragging and not really in a good way.

So I reminded myself that I was not in Baltimore, that the last convo I had with Den went something like this…

“I don’t know where your iPod cord is. Use mine. It’s on the dresser. My dresser will not bite you. It’s the same friggn cord, Den! Stop whining! Stop yelling! Stop acting like a little bitch! You are not a bitch? You are an asshole! Well excuse me! Well you are a whining little bitchy asshole! Satisfied? ARGH! Men! Yeah, I love you too. Miss you much. Be home soon. Yeah, I’ll be safe. I’ll tell Renee and Liz hi.”

Yeah, we have an odd relationship but it works for us. LOL

(The conversation had Liz and me laughing at her the rest of the morning.)

But back to the exhaustion….

I stumbled into the bathroom and did the morning toiletries route. Liz and Renee got up and we all did our best to not look like the walking wounded. So that meant, make up. Not a lot, mind you. Just enough to cover the designer bags under my eyes that were giving me an interesting raccoon look. Renee did the same as did Liz and soon we were ready to embark out of the Hotel, Motel, Holiday Inn. Sigh.

Todays costume, a mild mannered serial killer. They look like everyone else! LOL I was in jeans and a halter top. That was it. I was too exhausted to try for cute. I tossed on some jewelry, pointed out that yes my butt has gotten bigger all of a sudden, like my boobs, and strapped on my dragoncon badge.

Of course I had to pack my carrying bag of fun, as opposed to the rolling bag of fun. Too many people. And I had a panel at 5:30. Down and Dirty Marketing. It was then that I realized I left the bulk of my business cards home. Sweet Mother of…. grrrr! Tea! I needed hot tea!

So I grabbed what was left of my promo, the promo from others that was sent out to me for placement, and we were ready.

Liz had gone on earlier, cause TACKA Liz ain’t right and wanted to grab a early panel. Panel in the AM? Like I said, crazy! LOL

Apparently there were a lot of slow draggers, cause we found a table pretty easily after the hill of death to get to the Dragon Hotels. Renee glared her way into getting us a table, I went and got some batteries for photos, and then it was food time!!!

Yup, by the pound buffet! Why mess with a good thing?

Our intentions were to wait for TACKA Liz, but we were hungry. We were still scarfing down food when Liz returned. She just shook her head at us and went to get her own food.

We conversed and stared at the consumes that were fresh as hell yesterday but were starting to look a little care worn. I think some people sleep in them and hop up ready to go without the benefits of soap and bath water. WHIMPER!!! That’s just not right.

But soon TACKA Liz was off and Renee and I were off to meet the Brothers and hit the dealers room! Oh yeah baby!

We walked in and found…shoes! OH heavens, shoes! Corset stripper heels in my size! Custom made really weird wonder woman boots that I would so rock, and thigh high leather boots that actually fit my skinny ass legs!  I tried them on and ran to the next booth to see the mirror and ran into folks I know! Yeah! They run the belly dancing outfit booth and I love them like mad! They liked both the eight inch heels that made me lord-queen-goddess tall and the leather thigh highs that made me feel odd.

Renee and the booth people said that they looked great on my legs. Two dudes stopped to take a photo and told me that the boots looked hot. Okay, they said that they would take a picture of me anyway, see my ass did get a lil bigger, but I think it was a non-working pick up line. I decided to wait and see, though everyone said they looked great. I felt uncomfortable in them, like they were wearing me, so I passed. If you don’t feel good in your clothing then don’t get them is my motto. But I have their card and I will think about getting them online…maybe.

So we found movies and videos and Renee’s brothers. Big Brothers in the house! LOL

Then we ran through the artist alley again and talked to a bunch of nice artists. TACKA Liz caught up with us and that made the rounds fun. Oh how we played at being art critiques… really we did. There was a lot of stuff that looked like the stuff next to it! I couldn’t find any skinny Black women!

HELLO FANTASY ARTISTS! THERE ARE SKINNY BLACK WOMEN OUT THERE! THERE ARE WOMEN WHO DO NOT LOOK CELTIC WITH BLONDE OR RED OR ANY COMBO OF THE TWO FOR HAIR COLORING!!!! Just wanted to put that out there. You find more Asian women, but they were all thick and muscular too! Us poor skinny women are either aliens or… non existent! Sniffle!

But I got some small artwork and Renee found her dragons, and her Brothers found Steam Punk Storm and some others, and we talked to artists (about the skinny problem too), and we just had a blast!

After touring the dealer’s rooms again, we said goodbye to the twins and made our way to the food court. We munched again and then made our way to the Hyatt for the panel.

Packed is not the word for this. I lost Renee… more like she had sense and found some other place to be. LOL really, there were people sitting on the floor! The panel was recorded, as I discovered all the panels were, and then the fun began.

(Stayed in the lobby and people watched. The costumes were great. I caught sight of one of the better Silver Surfer’s with his girlfriend Nova. Very nice costumes. I also talked to two very lovely gentlemen about costume ideas for future Dragon*Cons that aren’t overdone. I had some killer ideas that I can’t share here since I gave them to the lovely gentlemen and I hope they use them, though I won’t be getting to a Dragon*Con in the next few years to see if they did.)

We had to school people in not responding to criticism on the lists, about vanity press, how not to start a flame war, and what Facebook and Twitter are good for. Remember that writer who shall remain nameless who went off on a reviewer and ruined her career? Yeah, we talked about that too! LOL This one was less hectic, no shouting matches, and I got to plug a lot of my friends. I even ran into a lady who has been following me for over 10 years! I was so amazed, I almost cried. I gave her a book. And a hug. And all the promo I had. And a fan. And another hug! LOL I think I scared the poor woman a little, but I was so happy to find someone who has followed me since before Ellora’s Cave. I felt warm and fuzzy inside.

Afterwards, I found Renee and she told me about some awesome costumes that wandered by. Sniffle. And then we made our way to the artist alley.

(The best of which was the giant banana being chase by the buy in a gorilla costume. :P)

And guess who we found?! SQUEEE ANGELA F HALLOWAY!!! Angela was there with her friend and her cousin! Forgive me ladies, I can’t remember their names! STUPID MEMORY! Renee will correct me! But guess what they gave us? Oh yeah!

(I said I would post this correction when I put up this post. From the words of Angela, here is the correction: The one that had the video is Audrey M. Hooks. The one that headed out the CHOCOLATE COCKS is Angela F. Holloway sis to Audrey and the other one is our friend aka sister from another mother Jennell.)


Oh man, that is some good chocolate! How do I know? I cracked mine open and sucked it down! Literally. There are photos. LOL But it was good chocolate and I was hungry!

We sat in a circle outside the closed artist alley and gossiped and talked and made everyone around us howl with laughter! My chocolate cock split in half, so mighty is the power of my suction, I can’t believe I typed that, but I ate half and left half and the nuts for later. Yes, it had testicles, solid big ones, but the edible nuts in the chocolate were concentrated at the base. I saved them for later! LOL

It was right around then that I discovered I was wearing two different flip-flops. OYE! I paused in deep throating my treat, yes I can do that pretty well. It’s a self defense mechanism. Have you tasted… man seed? ISH! If you suck the dick up to the hick up, then you don’t have to worry about taste. Belch back might be a killer, but…. ROTFLMAO Yes, we talked about that too! ROTFLMAO

(We were the extremely raunchy corner of Dragon*Con that night.)

But I took some time away from gobbling my chocolate, I WAS HUNGRY!!! To marvel at my shoes. I am an idiot sometimes! LOL And I never noticed it either. That, ladies and gentlemen, is exhaustion. Probably explains why I kept gnawing at the chocolate cock too. That and it was really, really good chocolate.

(Her hubby liked it too. He threatened her with bodily harm if she took a picture of him eating it though. I still wish she had taken a candid photo. That would have been priceless.)

Then we ran into the guy who runs the Con Suite at Dragon Con. He flirted and with the power of five women hyped up on chocolate and kilt lifting, (we missed it but Angela had video), the power of our reply knocked him sober! ROTLFAMO We got tested too, to see if we could help out in the con suite next year. He asked some questions and we answered with flying colors. Who knew he was testing us? I was just answering catering questions. LOL But he was dressed like Commander Cisco from Deep Space Nine and was a hoot to tease. He left us after about fifteen minuets, needed a major drink of his own, and we went after food! *G8*

Food glorious food!

And on the way we told stores about the con, got separated, TACKA Liz joined us and we explained some Black humor to her, which was a blast, and I got hugged by Dr. Frankfurter! Woot! We time warped until his drunk ass stumbled. But there are photos too! LOL

We got us a table right quick, went for food, and spent a few hours eating and talking.

It was like minds sharing ideas, exploring, telling tales and exchanging info. Isn’t that what going to these cons is all about anyway? Running into friends, putting faces to names, making new friends, and having fun while you do it all? It is in my mind and we fulfilled that purpose with a vengeance.

Then we separated, the ladies to make ready to go home the next morning. Renee, TACKA Liz and I went to look at costumes and then make our way back to our room.

We showered and made ready to watch True Blood, and talked right through it! LOL We gabbed and talked until I kind of passed out on the computer. Didn’t get a compelte chaper written that night, but I was content with what I had done. I snuggled back in the hard as hell bed and still wondered about those damn shoes before I fell asleep.

(Actually, I started True Blood — the room had HBO — but it was already like five minutes in so I turned it back off again. A lot can happen in five minutes. Anyone who saw the last five minutes of the season finale knows what I mean. So I decided to wait until I got home to see that episode.)

One more morning and then it was time to make our way home. *g* One more day and then we would be dragging our asses back to Baltimore.  One more day….


Have You Been Flashed?
Stephanie Burke

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