Here’s another Dragon*Con installment from Stephanie Burke. This time I interjected some comments in red where she and I diverged. 😛
Dragon Tales, Dragon Tales! Lets all have some Draaagon Talllllesssssss!!!
Whew! It takes practice holding a note that long! LOL
The rising sun was gently illuminating the tall curtained windows, the sound of the air-conditioning was buzzing gently, the perfect white noise. And I—I…
My ass had been awake for hours! OUCH! I mean with the money we were shelling out for this room, the beds could have been more comfortable! WAAAA!!!!
(The beds could have been bigger too. Flash doesn’t take up that much room, but standard-sized beds suck.)
Hotel, Motel, Holiday Inn! If your girl starts acting up, then you take your friend…if you really want to piss both of them off and never get laid by either of them again! ROTFLMAO
Either way, I had been up since 4 in the AM, giving me roughly four hours of sleep. And I had a 10 in the AM panel. Sniffle.
So I crept out of bed, my bedmate (Renee is not as cuddly as Den) not even stirring, and The Artist Currently Known as Liz, snoring happily on the other bed. With one last look at their serene sleeping faces… and resisting the urge to smack the crap out of both of them, (Well Rested Hooches) I began to make myself ready for the day.
(Well rested my ass. I was friggin’ exhausted and missing all of my pillows. Flash is not cuddly in the least. I kept worrying that I would knock her off the bed or something. Stupid standard-sized beds. *grumble grumble*)
Hot shower, check. Several minuets scrubbing my teeth, tongue, and upper palate, check. Belly dancing bra and Turkish pants…. Yes! I pulled out my old belly dancing outfit from when I could Move my Body like a snake, mama! LOL
Ha! Those were the days! LOL I could slither with the best of them. In fact, I got Den’s attention by rolling a quarter up and down my stomach at a party. But that is a different tale. That was 1001 nights, this is Dragon Tales.
But despite that fact that I need WD-40 to do a proper chest drop again, I went and put the set anyway. I like the way the bra jingles! LOL Oh yes! Cleavage! It’s an awesome thing! I remember it well.
So I step out and see that everyone was awake, not exactly wide eyes and bushy tailed, but something about a step above Zombie. So much for trying to be quiet. So we do what any enterprising writer and artist near zombie combo’s do to start a new day at a con that had never been experienced yet. We talked food and sex and Weird Al! Yeah, Food and Al! Glorious food. Funny Al! Life was good.
So I check my schedule again, In between choruses of Your Pitiful and discovered that my 10 AM panel is actually 10 PM. DAMN DYSLEXIA! ARGH!!!
But then Chris Stuppi called me. Oh yeah, Chris. Weapons dealer extraordinaire. Chris, Kilted Wonder! Chris, hang out and drinking buddy… Chris…who knew his way around Atlanta! Oh yeah! Breakkie with Chris. Our Kilted Savior!!!
So we pull together panel stuff, I was not humping up that hill and back again to this Holiday Inn, Swag, give always, aspirin, porn list (Don’t ask) and phone cord. We were ready… Well, I was ready. The Zombie Twins had to get ready and damn if they didn’t actually use the air conditioner! Really! I mean, 80 degrees is a nice temp for a room. Really.
(80 degrees. REALLY!?? Is she trying to kill me? It was too hot at 69 degrees. I kept waking up dehydrated, which contributed to me not being able to sleep. I think that thermostat was lying. I put my home thermostat at 74 degrees when I go to bed and nearly freeze to death. It was hot as hell in that room.)
So they pulled themselves together, I climbed form under the comforter and we were off!
First challenge, The Hill of Death! I mean really! Who wants to hump a San Fransisco-esque hill to get breakfast? Well, we did! LOL Food was at the top of that hill. It had been some hours since I had eaten. Thus, the hill was the enemy and must be defeated!
So in the nice hot weather, we humped and stove, and sallied forth until we made it to the top! And what greeted us? Gold’s Gym. Fate was laughing at us! LOL
So we dove between some of the Green Lantern Corps, a few Steampunk X-Men, a crap load of anime characters, a flock of angry birds, and women in high heels (Boy were they going to regret that), and made our way to the meeting spot.
And there was Chris, yeah Chris in all his kilted glory! Introductions were given and then we ran for the food! All you can eat Breakfast? No Breakfast by the pound! Fine with us! We loaded up and set out. Of course our sheer determination and intimidation factor allowed us to get a table fast! Okay, so we lucked out, but we got the table and breakfast so NAH! LOL
We talked and ate until it was time for TACKA Liz to make a panel.
Renee and I hunted down her brother, survived a few people who wanted photos of the bald blonde chick in the belly dancing outfit, and staring at a few awesome costumes.
We met up with TACKA Liz at the Horror Icons Panel and squeed to see Tony Todd (Candyman), Robert Englund (Freddy), and Lance Henriksen (Bishop from Alien). Oh It was so Great! Some people asked some dumb questions.. and one chick even propositioned the happily married Robert Englund! Really? She said that Freddy was a sexual being and asked him for a drink. The silence that fell was very amusing! Tony Todd is directing now, there was the prerequisite “Will you marry me?” by some dude to his girl, and general laughter. It was a great panel.
Then we were off! TACKA Liz to some art panels and Renee and I to roam with her brother.
Yes, Renee as Twin Brothers! We met Marcus first, tall and lanky military dude (he’s not military. That’s my other brother, Marcellus. Sometimes known as Mike or Cellas. Marcus wanted to go do some other panels so we split off from him so Flash and I could find some place to rest). So we sat outside of the Venture Bother’s panel killing time for him to arrive and guess who we ran into? Stella Price! And she was on her second outfit change of the day! LOL We yapped for a few moments and talked about the panel that we both would be on later that night. I should have known a panel called Talk Sex would not be in the AM. Sigh.
So when the panel line moved on, we sat and watched a well hung… he was carrying a mallet, Kratos! Awesome body pain and what a body for the canvas! LOL
So we eventually moved on and ran into MARCUS!! (He had just come from the Lego Universe panel. He had to go so he could make a full report to his sons when he got home.)
He was cool and sweet and the all around big brother. We hit the dealer’s room and looked around yapping and probably scaring him with our conversations. Renee’s brother has an innocence about him, an innocence that Renee tries to corrupt as much as possible, like a good little sister.
We sat in the balcony of the Pulse Bar and people watched. It was great! I wish I had a camera! Especially when Mardoc and Godzilla started fighting. LOL We played identify the costume and the hero for a bit and Marcus is a font of super hero knowledge. And then he ran away, probably didn’t want the little sisters, Yes I forced an adoption. So he ran away and Renee were waiting for Sascha and Liz to show up.
Sascha Illyvich was moderating the Talk Sex panel and was playing run around with all the things they wanted him to do. He could not go and eat with us, but we shooed him away with hugs all around and hit the food court.
Let me explain the food court. Food from Japanese Soba Noodles to Eastern Falafel all offered at reasonable prices! HEAVEN!
Using stealth and skill, okay we lucked out again, we found a table and were soon grubbing back. OMG, was I getting filled! (Be amazed. She actually ate food and lots of it every time we went to eat.) This food was cheap and good and… I like to eat! LOL And you can get full on the free samples alone!
We ate again and then people watched more. People watching is more than half of the fun.
Then we hit the artist room, Oh Holy FUCK! DAVID MACK autographed a book for me and gave it over for free. He was at Comic con in Baltimore a few years ago and I couldn’t claw my way thought he crowded to get him to autograph my stuff. I explained that I missed him before he handed over the goods and one for Renee as well. Quiet Fan Girl moment. Ah yes! Kabuki was my first cosplay. The man is an art god!
Ah! It was so much fun. Then we ran around to the art auction and found Julie Bell and Boris Vallejo. I gushed again and told them how much I appreciated what they had done for women in Sci-fi, for making us as strong as the men and able to defend ourselves! They bring out the beauty in strength. And they thanked me!!! Heat pounds! It was a moment I will never forget!
Soon after Renee and TACKA Liz broke off from me and I made my way to my panel. People were sitting on the floor! I had some great panelists too! Marianne LaCroix, Stella Price, Suzanne Sizemore…. There were so many great writers there! WOOT!
(I went to the Broad Universe Rapid Fire Reading. This is when several authors — known as broads — from the Broad Universe online community — a group celebrating women in the sci-fi/fantasy genre — all read excerpts from their works. It was a fun time. Everyone seemed to like my excerpt from ERIS. They laughed at the funny part so I was happy. After chit-chatting with some of the broads, I headed back to the hotel room convinced I would be the last one coming back since it was near midnight.)
So we talked and we joked, and we embarrassed the hell out of Sascha! LOL People were really interested in wring erotica and it was no holds barred! Some of the things those freaky people came up with! And I was talking about the panelists! LOL Of course we ran over time and was showed out of the room, But it was great fun and a test to see if we could out each other with sex, stories, and jokes. And I promo spammed all of my friends and their works as well as my publishing houses! LOL
After the panel I hugged a lot of people, met with fans, and gave away swag and got my head pumped up before real life popped it with a pin. Sigh. Stupid reality! LOL
Then I made my way back to the room…by walking out the wring door and having to walk around the Marriott. GROAN! Oh that was fun, especially when the strange men in cars began to follow me.
I was saved by a marching techno Rave which just happened to be dancing by. I joined and then ditched the odd males and made my way back to the Holiday Inn.
Along the way I ran into TACKA Liz and her friends and we spoke for a bit before making our way back to the hotel.
Sigh. Renee beat us both there! LOL So much for being a party hound! I changed and climbed into bed and in a few moments was dead to the world. It was sad, but I guess this is what lack of sleep would get me.
But I had to be rested. Tomorrow was not only the parade, but it was Avatar day! Time to pain myself in blue paint and ‘See’ people! LOL Friday was an easy calm day, something perfect for my old bones. I couldn’t wait for the next day though. I wanted to see what the rest of the con would bring.
Have You Been Flashed?