Lack of Opinion

First, I’d like to state (for the record) that of the goals I mentioned last week I didn’t get to the speakers. They are still strewn haphazardly around the room waiting for me to get off my butt. Actually, I wish being on my butt was my only problem. It’s being on my butt in front of my computer that’s keeping me from getting stuff done.

Anywho, on to my topic of this week. Topics keep me focused, which is good thing because my tangents are killer. ;P

LACK OF OPINION

What does that mean?

I, the author hoping for fame, am no longer allowed to say and/or post every little thought that comes to my head for fear of insulting someone.

I, the author whose book you liked until I opened my mouth, can only voice my opinions on certain subjects–politics, religion, other authors’ books, publishers, reviewers, booksellers, etc–with a handful of friends and family in a closed setting.

I, the author who used to be an everyday person just like everyone else, have the right and responsibility to remain silent because my sales depend on people liking me as well as my books.

You know what? I liked life better when I was just writing the books and that was it. Don’t get me wrong, I love that I’m being published and I really hope people enjoy my books–though violent they may be. But having to re-read a post fifty times before hitting send to make sure I didn’t type anything that might be taken the wrong way is stressing and annoying.

I used to laugh at all the celebrities who would go out in public and show their ass (translation for those who need it – do and/or say something stupid–think Dixie Chicks and their Bush comment) then wonder why their sales started plummeting. I couldn’t understand why it was so hard for them to keep their mouths shut.

Understanding has come and it sucks. Everything you say can and will be held against you in a public forum.

You might wonder why I’m even bothering to write about this. Here’s the deal: I have a cynical sense of humor. Anyone who’s read any of my posts (or that knows me personally) knows this already. It’s just the way I am. I get around a bunch of people and say things to get a laugh. That’s gotta stop (or be toned down, ’cause I doubt I can stop) or else I might insult someone.

If I insult someone because I say, for instance (disclaimer), the sky is green and nothing you say or show me will make me believe otherwise then I won’t be all that upset. However, if I insult someone because a joking comment that I made got them all pissed off with me, I’m going to get mad.

So, here’s my disclaimer (that only a handful of people will read so it won’t do me any good anyhow):

I am a cynic. I want to know where the rest of liquid went or is. I don’t care about the fullness of the glass, all I want to know is if the waiter stiffed me (half full) or if someone drank out of my glass (half empty). I don’t care which one but someone better fess up. ;P

I believe in the Darwin awards because stupidity should always be rewarded.

Murphy’s Law is a law for a reason. If something can go wrong, it will go wrong, and I don’t understand why you’re so surprised when it does. I prepare for the worst and then feel relieved when everything is okay. That little quirk of mine keeps me from going to see live anything (plays, musicals, et al) because I keep waiting for someone to screw up. I don’t want someone to mess up but I figure the odds are in their favor. Hence, I won’t see Wicked (to the disappointment of my husband) until someone stops being lazy and records it on DVD. The soundtrack is on CD, I don’t know what the hold up is.

Life has made me this way, though sometimes I wonder if I was born this way since I’ve been like this as long as I can remember (and my parents tell me stories of stuff from before I can remember that back up my theory).

So, in conclusion (because this is waaaaay longer than I thought it would be), I no longer have any opinion on anything that might get me in trouble. If I need to say something, I’ll put it in a story and blame the character. ;P

Everything is roses, even if those roses have thorns. The birds are singing–noisy little bastards. And the sun is shining–it woke me up. Actually, my husband snoring woke me up but that’s a whole other rant.

Next week’s topic (since I’m supposed to update this thing once a week–according to my own schedule) will be whatever happened during my book release. That’s TUESDAY, people. No excuses. At that time, I will include a rant about my failed book launch party in GA.